It takes a while for the good-hearted Empath to realize that feeling someone else’s emotions is a boundary violation. It’s like reading a personal diary…except the Empath didn’t go find the diary to read, to us, the person is reading their diary out-loud and won’t stop reading.
It took me a while to identify that I was harboring subconscious guilt for feeling other’s intimate emotions that made me more likely to assist sacrificing myself to fix their problem…I dub this as “Falling Down the Rabbit Hole”…and we (the empaths) hop head first!
Our kind seems almost by nature to draw in the emotionally needy, but many times we seek them out and don’t even realize it. While we may be the best person in the world for managing these types of people, it becomes an emotional drain quickly.
Take the Narcissist, for example. Of late, a lot of research is being conducted on the narcissistic and empathetic traits that seems to make this type of couple a match made in heaven (for the Narcissist) or hell (for the Empath). The Elite Narcissist’s most delicious meal is the Super Empath. It takes them a lot less time to spot us than vice versa…but how are these opposites attracting?
Well, the Empath can’t feel much emotion from them because Narcissist’s are emotionally void…well, that is, their false self is. To add another layer to the deception, the Narcissist starts mimicking the Super Empath’s likes and desires. He knows that she is naturally the emotional giver by just her body language and massive amount of research he does on her from sources as simple as Facebook. We find them easy to talk to in the beginning – because that is their goal – to ensnare us and then extract our emotional energy…alas, couldn’t the Narcissist just have remained emotionally void?
While the Narcissist has boundaries stricter than Fort Knox, the Empath does not…but that needs to rectified! A good defense always prevents a loss…and a good defense is boundaries.
Webster’s dictionary defines boundaries as: A point or limit that indicates where two things become different. Well, for an empath, emotional limits have always been the same.
But here is what you can do as a start to good boundaries…LEARN YOUR OWN EMOTIONS!
- Identify how you process guilt. Certain issues are harder for you to turn down than others. Ask yourself why. Own up to your own weaknessess. As the Great Magi reiterate, “Know Thyself!”
- Trust your reactions. When asked to do something, if you feel any twinge of negative, say, “I think I have plans, but I’ll call you if I don’t!”
- Protect your emotions. Your emotions can easily become enmeshed with negative energy. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.
- Learn the power of no. This is the hardest word for an empath, but for the love of God, its our Savior!
Empaths are special. If the “superior” Narcissist is after you, they see it too (compliment? eh well, you get the point…I hope). My goal is for you to see your specialness first to avoid heartache!