Most research material on Narcissist’s says they are devoid of empathy because they cannot feel emotion. This is not true in my experience at all – Narcissists do feel emotion…in fact, it is very more intense and channeled very differently than in most people I encounter.
My mentor once told me that Narcissists were given the same abilities of Empaths – they were both born to be healers. When the knowledge of good and evil came to Earth, the two energies separated: one gave to others (Empath) and one manipulated the natural energy of giving to others to feed itself (Narcissist). Since this energy was designed to be given, it could not be received directly so the Narcissist invented the “false self” (i.e. another person within the self) that was now reliant on the emotions of others (commonly referred to as “fuel” or “narcissistic supply”). A choice has been emplace since that day: would you rather be a giver or a slave? I choose giver; although, in childhood where a lot of these wounds form, the choice is not directly stated nor explained. We are who we are.
My mentor pointed out that while Empath’s naturally feel other’s emotions and will use that energy to help, Narcissists intentionally trespass with the intent to drain that emotion back to fuel the false self…but my mentor gently reminded me, we both trespass…however, God judges the intent. I respected my mentor for his observation. It took me a while to ponder it, but I adopted his logic. Facts, logic or reasoning will never trump what I feel.
Since that discussion, I have come to see Narcissists in a different light…more human. I have empathy. Before, I just avoided them like the plague, but there are more and more Narcissist’s blossoming all around us…and I began to tune in to their emotions.
URGENT DISCLAIMER: It is not wise to do this. In my case, I had no choice as someone I loved was ensnared with NPD, but was reluctant to go there as the NPD personality is a turn-off for me in general. If I could have run, I would have, but I couldn’t. It took me a year and a half to even categorize the emotions.
The Narcissist is Very Sensitive
If you so much as look at a Narcissist wrong, the damage done to the “false self” pierces the soul at such a depth that , it’s almost perplexing of an emotion to even feel or put into words. This is because every emotion that is felt by a Narcissist comes in three’s – in a matter of milliseconds all of their emotions erupt into anger, but after practice, I was able to break down the emotions in the purest form. Every single emotion that a Narcissist feels eventually erupts into fear – a gut-wrenching fear.
Without fuel, that fear takes over which is what makes the narcissist addicted to narcissistic supply…and I get why.
I felt the emptiness.
I felt the darkness.
I felt the fear.
I understand it.