Often Empath’s have an out-of-this-world ability to be receptive to the feelings of others, but can forget their own motivations, needs and feelings in the process until he or she ends up in a narcissistic relationship that he or she often will never forget (not usually for the best reasons either!).
Before I begin on the psyche of two particular types of Empaths, I want to describe an Overt and Covert Narcissist in brief.
The Overt Narcissist
An Overt Narcissist is more aggressive, self-aggrandizing, exploitative, mantaining a grandiose persona that needs attention (re-assurance) to maintain his or her emotional state of being. An Overt Narcissist will often use the ‘Cheerleader’ type (although never fall in-love with them as they are not ‘True Empaths’), as a stable source of narcissistic supply for a particular time.
Such persons reassure the Narcissist of his or her ownself through their words, actions, appearance, and accomplishments. If the Narcissist is good-looking, a good-looking partner would be needed for his or her own self appreciation.
In short, the ‘Cheerleader’ is an extension of him or her until the cheers run out. In truth, the ‘Cheerleader’ often is using the Narcissist for the same motivations as well, although tends to be more of the ‘giver.’
The Covert Narcissist
On the opposite side of the coin, a Covert Narcissist is more prone to feelings of neglect, hypersensitivity, anxiety, and constantly can feel attacked with a need for attention via emotional validation of what is making him or her feel this way (circumstantial). A Covert Narcissist will often use A ‘True Empath’ labeled as ‘The Re-assurer’.
The ‘Re-assurer’ is able to empathize with the Covert Narcissist’s plight and offer sound emotional stability for a period of time just as the ‘Cheerleader’, but in a different emotional way.
You see, the Covert Narcissist often feels ‘attacked’ in a way when the relationship with the ‘Re-assurer’ progresses to a more open, known and unconcealed (i.e. a normal relationship) simply because the Narcissist is unable to validate his or her own self with that of another, categorizing (albeit erroneously) the ‘Re-assurer’ as a pestilence.
In short, a Covert Narcissist is screaming at the end: “You do not understand what I need anymore! You are making me deal with myself!” to which the ‘Re-Assurer’ says (without complete emotional understanding): “I understand your surroundings via feeling in my own emotions and have taken so much on my own self and still am giving! I need you to at least get that!”
While this lasts for a period of time, the Covert Narcissist will seek to abandon the ‘Re-assurer’ before ultimate depletion of the Re-assurer is exhausted to avoid the feeling of guilt.
In a small contrast, an Overt Narcissist will (sometimes with knowledge) attempt to bleed the ‘Cheerleader’ dry (if he or she can get away with it – normally the ‘Cheerleader’ does not completely allow such depletion) which is the primordial difference between the ‘Cheerleader’ and the ‘Re-assurer’ (who allows almost complete depletion before the Covert Narcissist pulls the plug).
Why Narcissists Reject the Cheerleader and Re-Assurer
In a parallel world, both types of Narcissists must reject the Cheerleader and the Re-Assurer because they are too similar to not only each other, but do not fulfill the void in the Narcissist’s self. Both are emotionally compensating (usually against their own self), of which (eventually) the Narcissist would be forced to follow suit, but cannot imagine in so doing.
Neither the Cheerleader or Re-Assurer understand that their constant admirations of praise and emotional giving are just suited (in the Narcissist’s mind) to supply him or her with a way to emotionally maintain for a period of time until it is over.
You see, even the Narcissist consciously or unconsciously knows that he or she would be obligated to emotionally give in a similar fashion that has been given to them, but opt not to reciprocate – thus, the only suitable option is termination of the relationship albeit physically, emotionally, and/or mentally.
As normal human beings, and even Empaths, time spent with another individual is an investment. The Narcissist simply terminates the investment before his or her emotional pay-out is to be given to another, thus rejecting the normalcy energy exchange.
Who the Overt & Covert Fall in Love With
It’s simple: the one who doesn’t put up with their antics and walks away. If they can’t live without them, they change for that person (as they just simply can’t stand it). If they can get away with walking away, they do!
In short, a Narcissist needs the guidance of an Empath who operates on behalf of others for a proper medium of balance (established by a trust of sorts).
An Empath needs to know his or her boundaries that is can be reciprocally balanced with the Narcissist, who does have the ability to protect the Empath from being continually used by other people if he or she can conquer that with their own self.
While this is a hard, if not impossible, combination to fulfill, it is possible and a rewarding alignment in self-discovery..
But, remember Empaths, if the Narcissist’s walks away, don’t you dare look back in their direction a second more…they not only resent you in the end for it, but will deplete you to the maximum and label you the wiser.
What Empaths Need to Learn About the Self
Your yang fulfillment of the Narcissist’s yin is not a satisfactory alignment to you as a person. Most Empaths fear of getting what they need and prefer to give. This attitude must be conquered first in the Empath for the Narcissist to even take notice for true and proper healing.
It is just as unhealthy to give too much, as it is to receive too much.
Empaths remember you worth – remember your needs – and don’t look back a second more when they are not met!