Meeting an Empath can almost feel like you have met your soulmate: with the Empath’s ability to understand the needs of others so acutely well, meeting one often makes another feel at his or her best self. The Empath’s grace carries them emotionally into the heart of another rather quickly.
The problem that Empath’s must combat is knowing how to slow down from entering a relationship too fast as the burden can lie on his or her shoulders to make another happy without room for the Empath’s emotions.
In one instance, the Empath may have to exit the relationship because things progressed too quickly and the Empath is getting drained, which can leave the other person in a state of depression. In other cases, the other person feels smothered by the Empath’s heightened knowledge of his or herself and has trouble connecting to his or her own needs.
Remember, feeling the emotions of another can be intrusive to other non-Empaths, and some may act sporadic around an Empath when they cannot process the same way. To combat this problem, many Empaths can become hermits, who value his or her alone time substantially; however, always remember: while Empaths do this on behalf of their own self, they also do so unconsciously in order not to hurt others or be hurt by others themselves via rejection. It takes a lifetime of understanding the complexities to fully understand.
Empaths Have Superior Emotional Knowledge
Empaths are downloading massive amounts of information about a person via feeling. All feelings have technical data attached to them, and the Empath is the savant on knowing this information about their romantic partner often more quickly than often they should. This is also why people open up to Empath’s about details of their life more quickly than other people. This is also why Empath’s try to find different people in this world who are not always the most traditional.
Take the following example: an Empath is on his or her second date at a restaurant. The waiter makes a comment to the Empath’s date, “I think you should try the Grilled Snapper.” Immediately, the Empath feels a negative energy as for some reason, this comment upset the Empath’s date. Immediately, the Empath takes a mental picture of his or her date to remember the physical aspects attributable to this negative feeling.
Now, an Empath is not a psychic. He or she does not know his or her date’s past, but is 100% sure that there is a problem with the comment that emotionally upset his or her date in a way that most other people would never have noticed.
The Empath then must make a decision. Does he or she bring it up in a round about way or does the Empath ignore it? The answer to this question lies again on the Empath’s date, who will emotionally give a signal as to whether we can inquire without trespassing emotionally.
If the emotional signal is a go, the Empath will most often always implore. After all, Empaths have a duty to protect themselves – it is an emotional red flag that ‘Grilled Snapper’ could have produced a negative feeling inside our own body. We want to know if the relationship is worth continuing.
Remember, we really do know too much about people almost immediately.
The Empathic Dialogue
Empath: “I take it you’re not a Grilled Snapper fan.”
Date: [stirs uncomfortably] – silence.
Empath: We don’t have to talk about it.
Date: You can order Grilled Snapper if you want.
Empath: It’s not my favorite dish. ***Note: even if it was, after this incident, it may no longer be depending on the Empath’s level of sensitivity.
Date: I used to love it.
Empath: [nods empathetically waiting for the conversation to progress or end based on Date’s level of opening]
Date: My mom used to cook it all the time. It was a really family treat. I had so many good memories eating Grilled Snapper. My mom died last year, and I had to work during the time she wanted to cook the last Grilled Snapper meal. It’s just emotional.
What the Empath is Thinking Without Thinking [Immediate Download]
In this case, I am carrying out my thoughts as the Empath in this situation. Remember, for us, this information is already in our brains instantly. I am just spreading awareness of the technical format as to how this processes for Empaths and as to why we are different.
First and foremost, I really want to pat the waiter on the back as somehow the three of us stirred up an interesting concoction of emotion. Grrr.
Notice here, that it was the waiter’s comment that stirred the pot – this happens so many times when the Empath seeks normalcy, but does get drawn in by an innocent third party who is connected differently as well. I think in the back of my mind I should ask the waiter if they are emotionally psychically able to start a new kind of medium trade with us at the helm. Eh, nah. Forbidden Biblically.
But back over my disappointment with having to deal with the negative: with knowledge, the primary emotion that has been admitted by the Empath’s date [or if I am assuming this role: my date] is guilt.
I immediately separate this from any sense of relating to myself: i.e. date does not feel or does feel comfortable eating Grilled Snapper with me. I can’t be linked to his mother or his past. I remove myself from any association whatsoever. I pray in my mind that I will still be able to eat Grilled Snapper.
The next wave of knowledge stems from the type of food that my date is remembering. Grilled Snapper is not an expensive dish. His family was probably of a lower income, no matter if my date sits with a Rolex around his wrist today. I make a mental note that we definitely would need to talk about finances in the future, but know it will be a sore subject, even if he does everything correct.
The feeling of guilt attributed to the Grilled Snapper is of his failure to be where he wanted to be, but chose obligations due to work. This is normal, but most people can’t bypass the feeling of guilt via obligation.
Most people are not like me…and I know that.
However, now, I already know when he will feel like this in a different emotional spectrum – the category of guilt is quite large (remember, I took a mental picture of his entire body when the incident happen and can start to splice it off based just off of his physical expression (I don’t have to think about it – it just happens…remember that – I FEEL it.)
Now, I know when he is feeling guilt forever (albeit a few exceptions, but for the most part will know). If he buys me flowers being nice, I will know somewhere if he feels guilt at spending the money to do so – I will see it, feel it, and know it.
This will make me say to him: “Honey, they are beautiful, but I don’t need that from you. I just love you.”
This instantly makes my date now in heaven – in some cases, the Empath can tell that he never wanted her to notice and she never does it again.
But then the real question is: Did I think about me? Did I want the flowers? Do I like flowers? To me, those questions become obsolete as the origination is contaminated with Round-Off Weed Killer. I am dealing with a negative cancer of emotion and want it deleted.
You see, I constantly have to interrupt others and separate their emotions from my own. Some Empaths deal with it in absolutes: I do not like dead flowers or I simply love flowers. For me, the reality as to whether I do or do not is based on the dynamic with each person I encounter – the reaction is from the source of whom I deal – and Empaths can not change it.
It changes us, but yet we do not change, but change all the time based on the inner-truth of the partner. If you got me flowers in feeling guilt, I do not like the flowers. If you got me flowers to make me smile, I love the flowers. I, along with many others like me, will never change. It is hard to know me, but if you know yourself, will get to know me the most.
Now, you can understand why so many Empaths seek to be hermits! To such, it is preservation of self. To me interacting with others helps define who I am if I can obtain the right partner. It can become a connectivity nightmare.
Running Too Fast in a Relationship
But let’s limit the knowledge based on the Grilled Snapper incident – remember, that the Empath has instantly downloaded the information based on the Grilled Snapper comment in his or her brain – we don’t have to think as to why or break it down. Most of us do not act knowing why we are the way we are, and there is a beauty to that.
However, when you notice a problem within oneself, such as running too fast in a relationship, part of your duty to self is to interrupt why and correct as many problems as you can to cease a negative cycle.
In this case, it does not appear that the Grilled Snapper incident could have been avoided. To the Empath, it may be that there is too much emotional guilt to continue the relationship. The Empath must be smart enough to know when to walk away, and not feel guilty themselves for knowing what perhaps should not have been known. We have to learn to trust ourselves, and our own instincts. In some way, we feel guilt over knowing. If the Empath used to liked Grilled Snapper, and can’t even fathom ordering it around his or her date, it may be time to walk. In some cases, you may have just met your soulmate, and can order Grouper.
I wish I could tell readers a concrete solution to an ending – as in, if you felt this, you should go. If you did not, you should stay. But it’s never that simple…or we’d be normal!
But there are boundaries.
The Empath can set-up boundaries to further explore the issues he or she was induced to know: as in, going home with the date and making out on the couch would probably escalate the relationship into running too quickly – you tuned in to something deep that may not be strong enough to balance a strong physical reaction over time. It may lead to a superior halt.
If you feel you induced a strong emotional reaction that turns physical too fast, maybe the answer is that you are going too quickly and tuned into emotions most others don’t reciprocate. We all need emotional support after all. We never really are truly alone while living on planet Earth.
For me, I am attempting to put my standard based on the Bible for sexual immorality to cease the strong emotional binds I feel come on too strongly physically.
I need a source [BIBLE] to aid me on how to navigate.
No matter how you choose to handle it, I leave you with the following words in bold:
Good luck, Empaths.